Once again instead of bombarding you with all of our photos, here are the top 50!

There is one thing that I have learned about me and Troy in the past 5 years: There is no destination too far, too remote, too weird, too scary that we won’t travel to. Ok, obviously Afghanistan won’t be on that list, but you get the idea. Easter Island has always intrigued me and since there is no easy way to get there I decided to tag it onto the end of our Machu Picchu trip. Easter Island is one of the world’s most isolated inhabited island and lies 2000 miles off the west coast of Chili and over 2500 miles east of Tahiti. It is roughly 14 miles by 7 miles with a population of about 3500. What the island is famous for is the moai statues which number around 900!

I have pretty much become a travel snob and assume everyone knows as much about travel as I do. So when I get questions about Easter Island such as “Do you take a boat there? Do you just fly over it? Can you go on the island? What’s there? Do cannibals live there?” I have to stop and tell myself “Shelly, no one is as smart as you and knows as much as you! People are also not as pretty and sophisticated as you so give them a break!” Ok, back to the real world… anyways I have to remember that Easter Island is not on every ones radar and when I do run into the occasional person who knows about it (which is rare), I am pleasantly surprised!

A little background on Easter Island:

• The island got it’s name because it was discovered on Easter Sunday (duh)
• The Polynesian name is Rapa Nui and the Spanish name is Isla de Pascua
• It is speculated to have been settled around 700-1000AD and was populated by Polynesians who navigated their way there by canoe from the Marquesas Islands over 2300 miles away.
  
• The massive moai statues were erected by these early settlers and represented deified ancestors. It was believed that the living had a symbiotic relationship with the dead where the dead provided everything the living needed (health, fertility of land and animals, fortune, etc.,) and the living through offerings could provide the dead with a better place in the spirit world.
  
• Most settlements were located on the coast and moai were erected all along the coastline, watching over their descendants in the settlements before them, with their backs toward the spirit world in the sea. As the island became overpopulated, different cults emerged which caused fighting among the people.
  
• The Birdman Cult believed human beings chosen from a competition would represent the deceased ancestors and not the moai statues. Many statues around the island were toppled over by the Birdman Cult which to this day remain down.

Our first full day on the island was spent on a 13 mile hike around the island. (I guess we didn’t get enough hiking in Peru.) From town we took a taxi to Anakena beach and set out around the northwest coast of the island. Other than seeing 1 car, 2 swimmers, 2 motorcycles and 1 horseman, we saw no one for hours! There were no roads, cars, power lines, people, boats, airplanes…nothing. The only thing we came across were horses, cows and the occasional horse carcass. It gave us a feeling of being very isolated and even abandoned. As we gazed out north from the island towards the open ocean it was scary to think that if we fell in the water and were caught in a northbound current, the next land fall we would make would be, oh, I don’t know, Alaska, or maybe Russia! Or if we’re really unlucky maybe we would just shoot straight past them through the Bering Strait! Ok, I’m exaggerating, we would probably hit the Canadian coast first! Since it is a very volcanic island we were constantly stumbling over small lava rocks that threatened to trip us up at any moment. But the views and the surrounding island was amazing! It's been written that it is one of the finest coastal walks in the South Pacific and I couldn't agree more!

The next day we rented a car and headed out to see the sights. But first we needed to exchange our money since we couldn’t do it at the Santiago airport because it was closed. Pat, our B&B owner, told us to go to the gas station to do this. What? Seriously? The gas station? Ok. Sure enough, the guy pulled out a huge bag of Chilean Pesos and exchanged our USD for local currency at the best exchange rate on the island or Chile mainland.

We had no plan for the day so we first headed to Rano Raraku which is the quarry where all the moai were carved. I love having no idea what to expect because it makes the surprise so much better! As you can guess, I had no idea what to expect at Rano Raraku and was shocked when from a distance we could see all these heads sticking out of the ground. (Any minute now there is going to be a “That’s what she said!” opportunity!) In fact the quarry has almost 400 statues in various stages of completion lying scattered around the crater. We parked, paid our admission fee, looked around and realized we were the only ones there! From the side of the hill we could see for miles and there were no cars coming at all! So here is an incredible UNESCO World Heritage site…and me and Troy!

We were able to get all the photos we wanted without any other tourists in the shots! We did make sure to obey the rules and not go off the trail or touch any of the moai or step on the Ahu (platforms). There is one picture that looks like I’m touching the statue, but I’m not. I do have a few caring cells in my body! We found out a few days later that when the big tour groups show up, a ranger follows them around. If someone breaks the rule, the ranger doesn’t reprimand them there, he takes a photo of them. The photos then get hung up at the airport and upon your departure, if your photo is hung up, you get fined!

Before we left the quarry, Troy wanted to go inside the crater. I wasn’t interested because… well I wasn’t interested. But I followed him anyways and was glad I did. Inside the crater were about 30 more heads! And again, just me and Troy!

Our next stop was Tongariki which is the most famous sight because it consists of 15 standing moai with a stunning ocean view at their backs. When we got there, there were two tourists and their guide. They left shortly and once again it was me and Troy. We couldn’t figure out where all the tourists were but found out later that week we did the “tour itinerary” backwards. The tour groups leave Rono Raraku and Tongariki as the last stops.

We went back to Anakena beach for lunch before heading onwards. There was a tiny little shack open for business ran by an old woman. Her menu consisted of four items written on a piece of cardboard. We ordered the tuna and were shooed off while she started her BBQ. When we came back there were four huge pieces of tuna on the grill and I looked around thinking “Who else is she feeding here?” Before I knew it there was a huge plate of food placed in front of my face that looked like it belonged in a four star restaurant! Although I don’t think four star restaurants have enormous amounts of flies that appear out of nowhere. While we’re eating two craft ladies showed up and started to set up their booths. Our BBQ lady started telling them a story and even though we couldn’t tell what they were saying we could tell it was extraordinarily sad. We found out our BBQ ladies 2 year old granddaughter had been killed the day before. She had been accidentally ran over by her father!

We stopped at several other sights on the way back to town but none held our interest the way the quarry and Tongariki did. We visited Akivi which has 7 moai that were erected in the middle of the island and there is much speculation as to why they were built inland whereas all the rest of the moai were placed right along the islands coast. We also stopped to see the quarry where the red hats were made. I would love to know the theory behind why the moai needed hats!

The next day we went diving. We knew not to expect much but we can’t go to an island and not dive. Our dive guide was an interesting guy. His name was Henri, was French, over 60 years old and had worked closely with Jacques Cousteau on his boat the Calypso. We wish we spoke French because he would have been a very interesting person to get to know. The diving was ok. Not much fish life, visibility ok, underwater terrain very cool… but at least it was cold! On our second dive I looked at my watch and was excited to see that the dive was almost over because I was very, very cold. At this point Henri looked at everyones' air gauge and continued on. A few minutes later I looked up and thought “Woohoo, there’s the boat! Wait, where you going Henri, the boat is right above us. We’re not stopping? We’re still going? Crap!” Like I said, Henri was interesting but our boat driver was a big fat grump! He looked like the most miserable person on the island!

As we’re hanging out at the shop after the dive we notice the little girls funeral procession going through town. The bad thing about our B&B, it’s located right next to the cemetery. As we made our way back to our room, we walked fast, kept our heads down and walked on the opposite side of the dirt parking lot because we didn’t want the locals thinking we were being nosy tourists. The last thing we wanted to do was intrude on this very tragic personal time. One of the sad things about this funeral is that instead of the coffin being taken to the cemetery in a hearse, it was taken in the back of a beat up old Toyota pick up truck.

Our last day we still had not had enough of hiking as we proceeded to do a 9 mile round trip hike to the Rano Kau volcano. The dogs in this town know who the tourists are because as we walked down the street, a random dog would start to follow us. If we stopped in a store or restaurant, he would sit and wait outside until we were done. So as we headed out of town to the volcano, a dog , who we nicknamed Yellow Belly, started following us. We thought after 10 minutes he would get bored and would turn around. No, he followed us the whole way up and back down. I don't think he was used to walking that far because he started to lag as we got to the stop of the volcano. We gave him some water and cheese and then he was good to go. No wonder they follow the tourists. They know we're suckers and will fall for the "I'm so tired!" act!

I don't think Easter Island will ever make it on any of the Food Networks shows because it is not necessarily known for their food but do they make a killer ceviche. We ate so much tuna! Every day we either had tuna sashimi, tuna steaks or tuna ceviche! And believe it or not, this tiny island in the middle of nowhere brews it’s own beer! They definitely have their priorities straight!

We whittled down the 100's of photos to the top 50 or so which you can see here.

Every so often someone will ask me “How do you decide where to travel to?” Little do they know I have a very long list of destinations! Even though we have been to a ton of places, there are still a ton more to see. I got the idea for this trip after our dive trip last summer to the Galapagos. It never occurred to me that Machu Picchu in Peru was so close and then what better time to go to Easter Island since we would be near the west coast of Chile! So off we went. The only downsize to where we travel to is how long it takes to get there. It is not a hop, skip and a jump like to Mexico. No, we’re lucky if we make it to our destination in 24 hours!

This trip almost didn’t happen though. Beginning of January, the Cusco/Machu Picchu (MP) region got an enormous amount of rain which washed out part of the Inca Trail and the rail line between MP and Ollantaytambo. Thousands of tourists were stranded and had to be air lifted out of MP. The trail was closed for the next three months while repairs were made. I had made reservations back in December and crossed my fingers the trail would be open again April 12 which was when we were to go. The trail opened no problem on April 1, but then there was the issue of getting a train ticket. Since only one train was running instead of the normal four, tickets were very hard to come by and our trekking company had to buy ours on the gray market. Normally worrying about if we had a train ticket or not would not be an issue but at the checkpoint before we began the trek, we had to show a government official we had a train ticket otherwise we were not allowed to go. But we got our tickets and were good to go!

Our trekking company required everyone to be in Cusco at least two days before departure to acclimate to the altitude, which is at 11,000 feet! I think living a mile above sea level helped us but we still felt it walking up the steep streets. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the people who came straight from sea level. Our original plan upon arriving at 7am was to go straight to bed but that is really hard to do in a foreign city when there is so much to see. So we headed out to see the town and nearby Inca sights, oh, and a really big white Jesus statue that had creepy eyes! During our roaming of Cusco we came across the local market that had everything from dozens of juice and local food stalls, to ladies selling flowers, huge round loaves of bread, raw meat and what we think were cow noses. Hmm… I wonder if a cow nose makes a good soup stock? We did discover another thing in Cusco: Alpaca meat is goooood! Cured Alpaca meat on a pizza was especially good!

A friend who recently went to Cusco told me that a festival happens every Sunday in the main square. We asked our B&B owner, Phillippe, if he knew what festival was going on that day and he says “There is not a festival today. Unless it is a holiday, but today there is nothing.” Remember that quote. So we head to the main square and guess what we came upon? Not a festival but a small parade. It was actually quite lame. It started out with school children in their uniforms marching (or trying to march) to the band. Then next came the business women of Cusco. They all had on business suits, heels and even carried their purses (I thought the purses was a nice touch!)

After watching this for 20 minutes we got bored and thought that Phillippe was right, this was no festival. Shortly after settling down at a nearby café to sample Peru’s famous coffee, we realized that yes, today there would be a festival. Starting from the opposite direction came groups of people in brilliant colored costumes and masks with trumpets, tubas, drums and dancing! Now this was a festival! And it went on for hours! It was a parade I would love to be in. At each corner the parade stopped and a kid would run out to the participants with a crate full of beer and pass them around.

Each group was introduced by a banner that said who they were, but only one group was advertising a product… diapers and toilet paper. The group started out with a large roll of toilet paper dancing down the street then followed by small children (like 4 years old) dressed as cowboys wearing masks with large noses. I’m not sure which part was weirder: the part where they had bags of diapers shoved into their pants or that they were dancing holding bottles of beer! Then these kids were followed by adults dressed the same way, diapers and all stuffed into their pants. The only difference with the adults is that they were drinking the beer they were holding. Personally if I had to go in public with diapers shoved in my pants, I would be drinking too. We tried to find out what the festival was for and after much questioning we found out it was the anniversary for the black market. What??? After we got back to our B&B we told Phillippe about the festival and he says (remember his quote from earlier?) “Oh yes, every Sunday there is a festival in the square."

Of course, going to Machu Picchu by train like everybody else just isn’t our style so we decided to do the four day trek along the Inca Trail which is about 25 miles. Even though we normally do 8-10 miles hikes throughout the summer here in Colorado we were a bit nervous about the trek since we have never done a multi-day trip carrying our own gear. Luckily since this was our first time we had it quite easy because we didn’t have to carry our food or tents, just our own personal items. We have some friends that are true mountaineers that are reading this and probably laughing their asses off thinking how easy we had it! I’ll admit, it could have been much tougher then it was, although it was still tough.

Our group was made up of people from all around the world: Germany, China, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and the US. The first day everyone in our group seemed to be sizing each other up: My pack is bigger than yours. I wonder if I could have brought a smaller pack? You’ve climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro? Are you going to be slow or fast? Does your ten year old daughter even want to do this? You have never heard of zip-off pants? But soon everyone fell into a groove with each other even though no one could remember the others name.

You know how in a group there is always that one annoying person? Well ours was Chuck Norris. His real name was Eric, but one of the porters named him Chuck Norris because of his hair and the name stuck. Sometime not too long ago I think he fried part of his brain on drugs because something about him just wasn’t right. He really was an idiot. He kind of made life miserable for everyone in the group, especially the guide. He would be anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours behind everyone else and would get pissed that the guide didn’t wait for him although there was a guide who was always behind him bringing up the rear.

There are a lot of trekking companies out there and we were very happy with our company, Peru Treks. Upon arrival at each stop for a meal we were greeted with juice, bowls of warm water and soap were laid out for us to wash up before eating, at the campsite our tents were set up and taken down for us by the porters and each morning coffee was brought to our tent. Oh, and the food was awesome. Speaking of the porters, they are who made the trip possible. Each trekking group had their own porters who carried the sleeping tents, food tent, collapsible stools, food, propane, eating utensils, tea kettle and whatever else was needed to make our stay comfortable. They did the same trek with us but at a much faster pace and with more weight on their backs. The government regulates it so that each porter cannot carry more than 55lbs. That is still a lot of weight but before the government got involved, each porter carried over 100lbs. One of our porters was even 66 years old! So we never once complained about the weight of our own packs.

Our first day was easy with most of the trek flat going through grass fields and passing the occasional small Inca sight. The second day was a different story, but more on that later. The first camp site was gorgeous with views of the beautiful Andes mountains surrounding us and a zillion stars after the sun set. The only bad thing about our site was the toilet. Oh, the toilet. Obviously there is no running water here, so it is a squatter toilet (toilet level with the floor) in an outhouse with a trash can in the corner for the toilet paper. We quickly found out that there were people along the trek that were having problems with their bowels and not quite making it to the toilet in time. This was evident in the outhouse because there were piles of shit on the floor that missed the toilet by 6”. And yes, this is gross, very gross, but it was a part of our everyday life on the trek!

The second day was the challenge: it was straight up from the camp and gained over 4200’ in elevation in a little over 5 miles. The pass was called Dead Woman’s Pass and Cesar, our guide, told us the story of how it got its name but it was so lame it doesn’t even deserve to be repeated - but Cesar is a great story teller. Right after breakfast Cesar gave us a demonstration on how to chew coca leaves to alleviate altitude sickness. This was quite the novelty because coca leaves is the raw form that cocaine is made of. After chewing several leaves and then spitting them out after two minutes, the tongue goes numb. The leaves made me gag and I had no desire to chew them while struggling up the steep climb so I did without. Fortunately Troy and I were fine whereas others in our group did not have such an easy time with the altitude, coca leaves or not. So backpacks on, here we go. Cesar said it would take five hours to reach the top. Troy and I did it in three! Guess all the training at the gym paid off! A lot of people in our group that day had problems whether it was dehydration, diarrhea, headaches, nausea, lost toe nails or just pure and simple struggled to get up the hill, I was happy Troy and I had no problems. Once we got to the top it was straight down to our next campsite.

The third day was the longest day. The distance covered was longer and there were more Inca sights to stop and see so it took everyone 10 hours to get to camp. That is, except for Chuck Norris and his girlfriend. They were two hours behind everyone and arrived at camp after dark. Before we arrived at our last camp everyone had to walk down Gringo Killer which was 3000’of elevation loss in the form of steps that went down, down, down. If no one was sore before this, they were sore after wards. The last camp was a very civilized with showers and a bar and restaurant. After throwing our packs in our tent and taking a quick shower we all headed to the bar. Funny thing, we drank all their beer! There were probably 30 other people in the bar before us but when a girl from our group went to buy us five beers, she was cut off. We all thought five was the limit that could be bought at one time. Ended up five was the limit because that was all that was left. But what do you know, 30 minutes later here comes a porter with a potato sack full of beer!

Our last morning we rose at 3:45am had a quick breakfast and were on the trail by 4:45. It had rained very heavily the night before but stopped by the time we got up. We have had such gorgeous weather to this point that a little rain was to be expected. There is a gated checkpoint on the Inca Trail that leads towards MP. It didn’t open until 5:30 so all the trekkers were lined up at this gate when it opened. Then it became kind of a mad dash to MP. Cesar kept warning us that there would be trekkers who would over take each other and to just let them but to stay on the mountainside. There is a very steep drop off the edge that would make the beginning of any ones day very bad! Our first meeting point as a group was at the Sun Gate. This was an Inca site that was at the top of a pass. I think we left our campsite so early so that when we got to the Sun Gate we could see the sunrise over MP. But unfortunately because of the previously nights rain, everything was shrouded in clouds and there was to be no sunrise over MP. Once everyone realized this, there was no longer a mad dash to get to MP first. So along we kept trekking, having no idea whatsoever that just beyond the clouds was MP! The first inclination I had that we were really close was when out of the clouds came this woman wearing a pink and white flowered sundress! I almost stopped in my tracks and looked around and thought “Where the hell did she come from?!?” But then more and more of these oddly dressed people who were clean and smelled good started appearing out of nowhere.

We finally arrived at MP and was a little disappointed because of the cloud cover. But slowly as the sun warmed up the air, bits and pieces of MP started revealing itself to us until finally the entire cloud cover burned away and we could see MP in all its glory! If I was a religious person I would almost think I heard angels singing! But since I’m not I’ll say I heard Metallica rocking out as the clouds disappeared!

Along the trek we did learn a few things besides the fact that large packs of dogs love to bark and chase after chickens through our camp at 3 am. For instance the Inca trail was not used by the common person, it was used by important people such as architects, astronomers, priests and the occasional king and there was more than one trail to confuse the enemies. The Inca’s were master stone builders and never used mortar of any kind to build walls and that the stones were carved and sculpted so tightly next to each other that even a blade of a knife can’t be inserted. What struck me the most was how random the Inca dwellings were built in the mountainside and how they were in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from anything.

Because of all the photos I have seen of MP, I knew what to expect when we arrived, or at least what to expect after the clouds lifted. But after seeing it in person after the 4 day trek, it impressed me far more than I expected. Along the trek all the Inca sights were small, with maybe a few terraces for farming but MP is huge and is truly a Lost City. It was only recently discovered in 1911 and covers about 5 square miles and even though little is known about the social or religious use it is believed that it’s primary function was for astronomical observation.

This was an extraordinary journey and every single one of us in our group felt that we deserved to be there and not the people who came in by train! They should at least be required to do some jumping jacks or push ups before they get to go!

Next up, Easter Island!

This is a long blog, but worth reading. I have not had this much to write about a trip in a long time! Even Galapagos was not filled with this many stories!

Before we begin, here is a cast of characters and a little background to help you along:

• Rick: Troy’s dad
  
• Pam: Troy’s step-mom
  
• Ray: Troy’s uncle
  
• Carol: Troy’s aunt
  
• Mary: Troy’s grandma
  
• Mario: Mary’s first cousin in Italy
  
• Nicola: Marios son in Rome
  
• Dominic: owner of B&B in Pescara

Background

During our year trip one of the incredible countries we visited was Italy. Of course we wanted to see all the amazing cities but Troy had an alternative reason for visiting. His great grandfather, who grew up in Italy, moved to the US in 1909. His grandmother, Mary and her sisters were born in the US a few years later. So Mary still has several first cousins there that she has never met since she has never been to Italy. Some US relatives of Mary had traveled to Italy several years ago and had found these first cousins and passed along information such as names, who was still alive and the name of the village, Nocciano, where most of them lived. When we decided to visit Italy, Troy said he wanted to find this village for his grandma, who he is very close to. So we booked a B&B at a major city that we knew was near Nocciano thinking that we would rent a car and drive to the village, take some photos and that be the end of it.

Some of the information that was brought back from the relatives was that Mary’s first cousin, Mario had a son, Nicola, who was a heart surgeon in Rome. Since we knew we were going to be in Rome, Troy made contact with Nicola and we ended up meeting him and his family in Rome.

So to continue with this long story, when we arrived at our B&B in Pescara, we were pleasantly surprised to find the owner, Dominic, spoke perfect English. When we told him why we were in Pescara, he told us to rent a car and he would go with us to Nocciano to find Mary’s first cousin. So Troy called Nicola in Rome and told him we were going to try to find his dad to meet him. Nicola called his dad and told him to expect us the next day. For some reason we didn’t have his address but Dominic said it wasn’t a problem. Nocciano was so small that all we needed to do was stop at the first old person we saw and ask for Mario Luciani’s house. Sure enough, the first old man we saw gave us perfect directions to his house. That afternoon we met Mario, his wife and several other family members. Mario even gave us photos to give to Mary. One photo was of her grandmother who she had never met. Since Troy was so close to his grandma he decided that before it was too late he would get her back to Italy to meet her family. She just turned 90 so we knew that the time was now or never. That is how this return trip came to be.

Onto the Story

It started out that Troy and his grandma was going to go. He wanted me to go because he knew he would need help. If anyone else wanted to go, great. Rick and Ray definitely wanted to go who in turn invited Carol and Pam to go as well. Mary soon decided that she would pay for everyone to go which meant that she wanted to invite a slew of people. Things rapidly got out of hand with how many people she wanted to invite. It was going to be hard enough as it was traveling as a group of 7 with one of them being 90 years old. But luckily the invite list got under control and I was able to start making travel plans.

I was in charge of the travel plans so my stress started long before the trip even began. It’s one thing to book a trip for just Troy and I. I don’t need to check with him on anything because I know how he likes to travel. It’s another thing to book for 5 other people I have never traveled with and who have not traveled internationally in quite some time (if at all). I had to be the travel coordinator and basically tell people what they had to do, where to be at a certain time, how to prepare for the trip, etc, without sounding like a bitch. However, it ended up that being a bitch was what got results from everyone! Anyways, I had to figure out how to get a wheelchair for Mary (she can walk fine but not for hours at a time); what was the best way to get her around Rome to see all the sights; finding flights with enough layover time to get everyone to the gate in time; etc. Booking the B&B in Pescara was easy because Dominic had 2 units we could use. He said he would help book our apartment in Rome so he became our go between for the Rome accommodations. I didn’t like that. There was an extraordinary number of e-mails that were passed back and forth to explain to him that 7 adults were not going to fit into beds that slept only 5. I don’t care what country we’re going to, it just doesn’t work.

Okay, Let's Go!!!

Troy and I knew we were going to need a lot of patience for this trip and that it would be tested over and over again but we didn’t know the testing would start so soon at DIA. We had no sooner gone through security when both Rick and Ray realize they had lost their money pouches. What??? Both of you??? You’re kidding me! Two grown men losing their money before we have even left the country. Ended up when they took their belts off to go through security, the pouches had slid down their pants leg. Or in Ray’s case got stuck in his underwear because that is where he had tucked his. But I can’t give them too much grief. I made a dumb mistake myself of booking our hotel transfer for the wrong day. Me, the world traveler who booked our year trip without a hitch! What happened was September 5 was stuck in my mind for the day we left that it never occurred to me we were arriving the next day. It only dawned on me when we were landing and Troy asked me what the date was because he was changing it on his watch. Troy had received a call at 2am from Italy the morning we were leaving . We couldn’t figure out who would be calling us. I thought it was a coincidence. Ended up being our transfer at the airport wondering where we were! Whoops!

I have to stop here for a moment and give Ray some more shit (that is the great thing about family - we can do that). One of the afternoons in Rome, him and Carol had it free to do their own thing so they went and visited the Roman Forum. This is the central area in Rome where the ancient Roman civilization developed. The oldest and most important structures of the ancient city are located here. Do you kind of have an idea of how important this site is? As they are touring the grounds, guess what Ray did? He picked up a rock from the ground and kept it!!!!!! It’s like going to the Petrified Forest and taking a piece of the forest or going to the Acropolis in Athens and taking a rock from there. You know the old saying “If everyone took one…!” You just don’t do these things! When I found out what he did I was horrified!

Our first day was a good start. After getting settled into our apartment, which was going to be cozy (to say the least) for the next 4 days, we went to lunch and then went to visit the San Giovanni in Laterano Catholic Church, of which the Pope is Bishop of and is considered the “Mother of All Churches”. This church was right by our apartment so it was an easy walk to visit. This was my favorite church when we visited in the past and still is. Stop laughing!!! I can have a favorite church if I want to! Anyways, there are all these…coves… (for lack of a better word because I have no idea what they are called) in a church where people can sit or kneel and pray. So Mary, who is very Catholic, stops and prays at the first one after putting in her 1Euro to light the electric candle. She then moves onto the next cove and sits and prays more. I turn to Troy and say “What’s she praying for now that she didn’t pray for over there?” After that we rested, walked down to the Collosseum which was very near our place, had dinner then started the vacation off with a bang by preceding to drink way too much which pretty much set the tone for the rest of the trip.

On Tuesday we had booked a tour of the Vatican Museum, which Troy and I had seen last time around, but we didn’t have a guide so we didn’t get the inside scoop on a lot of things. Such as: Michelangelo was so angry he was blackmailed into painting the Sistine Chapel, that he painted God’s Ass on the ceiling. Hmmm… do you capitalize ass since it is God’s ass we are referring to? There is also a sculpture from the Roman period that looks disturbingly too much like Bill Clinton - I mean, exactly like him! Pompous hairdo and bulbous nose and everything! Oh, and you can see his penis!

After our tour we stopped to get lunch where pretty much a full brawl broke out amongst us. There was mis-communication about who was spending the afternoon doing what, who was going off to do their own thing, etc. and the next thing I know "the adults" were yelling at each other and trying to get the last word in. Mary is sitting at the end of the table completely oblivious to this fight going on around her. She turns to Troy and says “Do you want a bite of my potatas? How about my fish?”

We knew Mary needed to see St. Peter’s Basilica regardless how tired she was, so after lunch and everyone settled down we took her back to the Vatican. We had used the wheelchair that morning for the museum tour because it was going to be 3 hours of walking. We knew she would need it because she wouldn’t be able to walk or stand for long periods. She hated it though. She gave it dirty looks every time we told her she had to use it. So upon arrival at the Vatican, I immediately went to get a place in the long line thinking Troy is bringing up the rear while pushing Mary in the wheelchair. Next thing I know, Rick is getting a phone call from Troy saying they were in already inside! Ahh… the power of a wheelchair! So the rest of us stood outside in the sweltering sun silently cursing the fact that Troy is already inside.

Troy and I had to leave early that afternoon to go pick up tickets to the Papal Audience I had reserved at a Catholic Church that I had found through the internet. Just as Troy and I are rushing out of the Vatican square to catch the subway, Rick calls to say Pam got tickets! What??? How??? It literally stopped us in our tracks because we didn’t understand how she got the tickets so easily. Long story short, the nun in the Vatican gift shop offered them to her because they were having a difficult time communicating how much something cost. Troy and I didn’t know what to do because it was made very clear to us that we needed to either pick up the tickets or cancel the reservation so someone else could get the tickets. I didn’t have the contact information with me to cancel the tickets so instead Troy and I bought a beer, sat outside the Vatican walls and contemplated that we were going to burn in hell for not picking up the tickets… oh, and the fact that we’re drinking a beer outside of the Vatican in St. Peters Square!

Wednesday morning was the day of the Papal Audience. While I was researching tours and things to take Mary to do, I kept coming across this. Since she was Roman Catholic I thought she would like the opportunity to see the Pope. I couldn’t get very detailed information about what this would entail but what my assumption was after talking to other people and what little I read on the internet, I thought we would be in St. Peter’s square with 100,000 other people and would see the Pope as a tiny little speck at his window a half mile away. Sure, he would be a tiny little speck but it would still be the Pope. So Wednesday morning we get up, put on our casual clothes, slather on the sunscreen, get Mary’s umbrella, grab the wheelchair and off we go to the Vatican again. When we arrived 2 hours early I anticipated a lot of people. There were a lot of people but not as many as I expected. After we got through security, instead of going straight into the square which is directly ahead of us, we are directed left through a gate that is guarded by the Pontifical Swiss Guard. I immediately knew something was up since the average tourist rarely sees these guards around the Vatican.

So me, Rick, Pam, Troy and Mary in her wheelchair follow the line of people away from the square towards who knows where. We are then directed into an auditorium but Troy and his grandma are told to go in a different entrance because of the wheelchair. We quickly find chairs because we were tired of fighting the crowd. We sit down, look around and see a large stage in front of us with a huge sculpture in the background with Jesus growing out of it. In the center of the stage is a lone chair and I ask Rick how far are we away from that. He quickly thinks about what golf club he would use to hit that chair and says 75 yards. As 10:30 nears the three of us are sitting trying to figure out what is about to happen. 10:30, on the dot, here comes the frickin Pope! Here we are 75 yards away from him, but guess where Troy and his grandma are? 30’ away. 30 frickin’ feet. They are in the front row barely off center stage. As soon as he walks on stage the whole audience roars to life!!!!! He stands there with his hands raised with the attitude of “I am such a rock star!!!” Afterward we asked Mary what she thought of the wheelchair and she says “Oh, I like the wheelchair now!”

The Papal Audience was the most bizarre thing. Here we are in a group of 5000 people in the presence of the Pope and people are yelling, whistling, screaming (yes, screaming at the Pope) waving their country flags, unfurling huge banners, playing trumpets, there was even a full fledge high school band complete with pom pom girls! It was by far nothing any of us expected!

Have you ever gone souvenir shopping with a 90 year old in a foreign country? Don’t do it! Rick had told Mary from day one that she needed to do her shopping. Either she kept forgetting or what I think is the real case is she wouldn’t speak up when she wanted to go into a store. So after the Papal Audience and lunch we told her it was time to do her shopping. She only wanted to spend $2US per person which in Rome is not getting you much. The stuff she picked out and how much she bought was unreal. After she bought for everyone on her list she kept buying little ceramic figurines “just in case!” When we got to Pescara she wanted to do more shopping. She said she wanted to find “tourist candy”, whatever that is. Then, when we were at the Rome airport, more shopping, then at Washington DC airport, still even more shopping. By that point we all put our foot down and said no because no one wanted to carry her stuff. I was already carrying 5 big boxes of candy for her and I was not going to carry anything else. I know I'm being hard and she’s 90 but there has to be a line drawn at some point!

When Troy and I had traveled through Italy before we were not able to experience the food like it deserves. We were on such a tight budget that we ate as cheap as we could. We made up for it on this trip! For the most part in Rome we ate pasta and pizza – nothing special. But in Pescara and the Abruzzo region we feasted. Our first full day in Pescara we rented a car, went and toured a winery then went to lunch at a place that Dominic recommended. The waiter spoke very little English but Troy was able to order for all of us. We had bruschetta, several antipasta plates, 2 pastas, rosticcini – which are small skewers of the best tasting lamb ever – pork chops and a few other plates I’m forgetting right now. It was a nice $150 lunch!

That afternoon was the first time that Mary was to meet Mario, her first cousin who is 86 and has exactly 4.5 teeth. That evening 12 of us went to dinner at this tiny, no frills, boring restaurant. It was one of those places with the plastic tables and chairs outside, stuffed animal heads on the wall, Pizza Hut table cloths and a fat old lady cooking in the kitchen. But in spite of all this, the food was phenomenal. Our anti-pasta plate consisted of boars meat, the pasta had shaved dried truffles (which evidently are common in the area) and of course copious amounts of wine.

The following day was the family reunion. This was what Troy brought Mary to Italy for: so she could meet her four first cousins and other family members she had never met. By pure coincidence, this year was the 100 year anniversary of when Mary’s father moved to the US. Pretty clever of us! We had hired three translators, one being Dominic who in turn hired two university students. Talk about a small world. One of the students, Stefano had lived in Colorado Springs, where his grandparents resided, to attend school. In the meantime his grandparents have moved to Casa Grande, AZ where my aunt and her family used to live. Anyways, there were about 40 people at this reunion, very few could speak English outside of Nicola’s family but that is why we brought three translators. I can’t imagine what was going through Mary’s mind when we arrived and she first got out of the car. I personally would have been nervous as hell and hoping I could get through the afternoon without making a fool of myself.

Through our translator, Mario told me and Troy a funny story. Two years ago when we had visited, the day after we left, Mario received a phone call from a friend that said he was on the news. Mario responded with “Go to hell,” before he let his friend continue with his story. Evidently word got out that these 2 Americans had come to Nocciano to meet their distant relatives. I guess in their very small world, this was a big deal and found it to be very news worthy. Then to top it off, the news people found it even more bizarre that these 2 Americans were traveling the world for a year. We never knew who told who what about our visit but we thought it was funny that something like this made their local news. We were celebrities and didn’t even know it!

After the reunion, Mary wanted to find the house her father grew up in. The last relatives to visit had said they had found the house. At the end of our own personal house hunt, we think somebody lied to them. Two relatives from the reunion came with us so off we went in a caravan of three cars. One of the relatives was a farmer who knew the surrounding area very well and the other one was Mario who had been to the house when he was very young. So we all thought it would be a short 15 minute drive to the house, take a few photos etc. etc, then be on our way back to our hotel after a long day. Oh no. One and a half hours later we are still searching. Troy had his GPS out because everyone wanted him to mark the spot but after the hour and a half drive, all he had to show was a spaghetti bowl of crazy driving all over the Italian countryside! So after our too long search we stop to talk to this old man at the side of the road who is in a motorized scooter. We all thought he was being asked directions, but next thing I know he is getting in one of the cars. Mary asks “Do they know him?” Me, being the smartass, couldn’t resist and said “No, they just like to pick up random old people from the side of the road!” Turns out he was a second cousin of the Luciani family. Luckily he did come with us because he took us directly to the spot where the house was. Who knows what house the last relatives saw, but what we saw was a lot of empty land with a very small dilapidated building on it. We know for a fact this building was not the house because it used to be big enough to hold 48 people. Since Mary was so excited to be here she wanted to add to her souvenir collection and collect a few rocks. These were not small rocks that would fit in your pants pocket. No, they weighed several pounds each and no one was allowed to wash off the dirt.

Sunday was our last day here so we piled into the car and took a driving tour of the castle villages in the area. The main one to visit was Rocca Calascio. This was built in the 14th century and is the tallest bastion in Italy. Isn’t Troy’s photo of it awesome? After visiting the castle we were to head onto the next village following the Tom Tom’s GPS directions. You know, the navigational device with the pleasant female voice that says “In 200 yards, bear left!” I think our Tom Tom was Satan in disguise. In fact, here on after, I am going to refer to the Tom Tom as Satan. Heading down from the castle Satan says “At the end of the road, turn right” which is taking us into the village. I’m sitting in the middle seat and I start mumbling quietly “This is not a good idea, this is not a good idea.” As Satan takes us deeper into the village my mumblings get louder and louder. Ray turns to Troy and says “Why is this not a good idea?” and Troy responds “Because Shelly is remembering the villages we walked through and how narrow the streets are. “Narrow streets” is an understatement. Sure, we’re in a car that can hold 7 people but it’s still a small car. We’re driving through alleys that are so narrow that we have to fold in the mirrors. I am getting more nervous with each block we go because I have yet to see a place for us to turn around. I start rubbing my temples thinking this can’t end up good and that there is no way Troy can back up through these narrow streets. He was barely able to navigate them going forward. So we finally come to a fork in the road and Troy says “What do I do?” Remember Satan has directed us to this point in the village and is telling us to go left - tricky f**ker. I say, “Someone needs to get out and look to see where the road going down leads to.” Ray gets out, goes and looks, comes back and says it’s tight but we can do it. When he looked at the road and the passage we had to make he was thinking of the width of the car, not the length.

So Troy proceeds down an incline that curves left then immediately cuts right between two old buildings. So Troy tries with no luck. He can get the front left bumper through the corner but that means the back right panel is going to get scrapped really, really bad. So he backs up. Tries again, no go. Backs up again, still no go. By this time the clutch is burning because it has no torque to back up this steep incline. During all of this an old man has come out of his house to see what the bad burning smell is all about. He doesn’t speak any English but tries to give us directions on what to do. Troy and I both had the same idea that he should get in a drive. At one point, Troy gives up and Ray gives it a whirl. He get’s the back right panel the clearance it needs only to have smashed the front left bumper into the wall. “Am I ok on the front left?” “No, not anymore!” He gives up so Troy jumps back in the driver seat. In the meantime an Indian has come out who speaks both English and Italian and is helping to translate what the old man is saying. He tells Troy “You can make it but it will be a small crash.” Troy responds “We have insurance” and the Indian says “Ahhh, you have insurance, big crash, no problem!” The old man has finally lost his patience and has kicked Troy out of the car and has taken over driving. Both Troy, me and Rick realize that all we need to do to make this sharp corner is to pick up the rear end and move it left 4”. That’s all we need, 4”. So me, Troy, Rick, Ray and a few locals start lifting the bumper up and down to bounce it while Troy is pushing it left. Lo and behold we moved it enough to get the car through. We found out at the end of all this Mary had her rosary out the whole time praying we would make it! And of course no one got a photo of the car stuck. Damn! I also forgot to apologize to the locals for trying to destroy their several hundred year old village.

Ok, ordeal done with, Troy’s adrenaline has subsided and his legs have stopped shaking from dealing with the stupid clutch. Onto another small village called Santo Stefano for lunch that is 2 hours overdue. First restaurant we see we stop because we are all famished. The waitress speaks very little English so Troy accidentally ends up ordering the whole menu. So $300 and 2 hours later this is what we have devoured: 2 bottles of wine, individual plates of prosciutto and pepperoni, 2 types of bruschetta, pickled zucchini , a plate of some sort of tasty sliced fat, platter of ricotta and assorted cheeses, cold green beans, lentil soup, roasted potatoes, gnocchi, pasta with red sauce, pasta with white sauce, fried cheese with honey, puffed rice, porkchops and sausages. Troy caught her in time to keep her from bringing us dessert because we had no room on the table or in our bellies for it!

Finally, we had booked a private transfer from Pescara to the Rome airport because the bus and train schedules were not going to work with our flight departure time. So I tell the driver we are on United. When we get to the airport I repeat it again. He drops us off at the airport and I’m seeing signs for multiple airlines but I’m not seeing United. I figure it would get sorted out when we get in the terminal. Shortly after we enter the terminal we quickly realize he had dropped us off at the wrong terminal and we had to catch a shuttle bus to get to the right place. There is nothing like running down the airport road to catch a bus dragging 6 people and their luggage with them with and trying to coax a 90 year old grandmother to keep up with us.

Ok, I’m done!

See the "best of" photos of the Galapagos.

As if Troy and I have not dived the best the world has to offer, there are still a few places (believe it or not) that we have yet to conquer. A few weeks ago, we marked one of the big ones off our dwindling list: Galapagos Islands! We tried to work this into our year trip but the timing of available diving liveaboards just didn’t work out. Let me tell you, the diving was unbelievable. We ranked it side by side with Cocos Island, Costa Rica as far as shark life goes but when you add in the overall fish and marine life, Galapagos is off the scale! There was a 15 year old diver with us and her family and we told her, “You got nowhere to go from here! You’ve seen the best and you’re only 15! Stop diving now!”

Before we got on our dive boat we spent a few days in Quito, Ecuador. As we’re heading to the hotel from the airport we received our first impression of Quito right away. You know when you pull up to a stop light in a busy city and little kids run up to your car selling newspapers or Chiclets or try to wash your window? Not in Quito. The little kids are flame throwers! Our taxi is at a stop light and we look over and see this kid spitting alcohol into a lighter and out explodes this huge flame! If we had been in the right lane I would definitely have paid $1 to see that again!

We met up with our dive group the next morning to take a walking tour of the city. Our first stop was in Old Town to go see The Basilica del Voto Nacional or in simple terms The Basilica. But first we had to get our entire group onto the packed trolley. When I say packed I mean the people of Quito could put the people of Tokyo to shame when it comes to how they pack themselves onto their public transportation. We missed the first two trolley’s because our group was just not forceful enough. Troy and I (the experts when it comes to packed transportation) told the group they were going to have to be brutal if they were going to get anywhere. The look of absolute horror on their faces was priceless when they realized they were going to have to give the old lady next to them a swift elbow to the ribs in order to get on the trolley. They did it, only to get off on the wrong stop!!!

Anyways, back to the church: it was gorgeous. It sat on top of a hill in the center of the city and could be seen from everywhere, considering it was the tallest thing around. Most of the city consisted of square, flat, boring buildings so anything that was not square stood out. Although i do have to say that in Old Town and around our hotel there were some great old colonial buildings. The first thing I noticed about it was the gargoyles. Actually, instead of gargoyles, there were turtles, iguanas, and birds lurching out of the side of the immense building. This church was enormous and completely open to visitors to climb and crawl all over it, which we did. There were steep ladders and wire mesh platforms that led up to the highest points of the tower. The part I thought was the craziest was once we got to the very top, there was a gate “open” that allowed us to crawl out onto a 2’ wide ledge that allowed an amazing, uninterrupted view of the whole city. I’m sharing this 2’ ledge with our friend, listening to him tell me about the last time he was up there pieces of the church broke off when he touched them. Ok, so maybe we shouldn’t be standing out here anymore. I’m not scared of heights but standing on that ledge definitely gave me the heebie jeebies! We spent the rest of the afternoon hop, skip and jumping around the town, throwing in a grande beer here and there. Oh, and paying $2 for a postcard stamp! What?????

A trip to Ecuador is not complete without a visit to the equator which we did the next day on our way to a local market in a small town called Otvallo. I found two things to be quite interesting: 1) At the equator both hemispheres star constellations can be viewed at night; 2) Ecuador is considered truly the center of the Earth because it is the only place (in ancient times) where the movement of the sun can accurately be monitored. Everywhere else the equator crosses is either in the ocean or is deep in the jungle. The things you learn!

Finally off to Galapagos Islands! After getting settled into our cabins on the Aggressor II and getting our dive gear set up we had our first dive of the day which is normally fairly boring because it’s mainly for everyone to get their gear straightened out and to see if there are any problems. Day after next we were going to be a long ways from civilization and if anybody needed a dive shop, today is the day. Like I said, usually it’s a boring dive but when you dive with sea lions nothing is boring! You never know when they were going to grab our fin, knock our mask off and play keep away with it or try and bite our face for a bit of entertainment! Gotta love an open mouth racing towards you at full speed and then turning away at the last minute! I swear I heard them laughing.

All of our time in Galapagos was not spent diving. We were allowed to have four land excursions. I know you’re thinking “You were allowed? And only four?” Let me explain… The Ecuadorian government keeps a tight rein on the islands (as they should) and are always changing rules regarding what tourists are allowed to do. Right now the government is in the process of changing policies so that if you are there as a diver, you are not allowed on land. If you are there as a land tourist, you are not allowed to dive. They have been trying to implement this for many years and luckily for us we were allowed to do both. Until we actually got on land to do our excursions we never knew if things were going to change on us at the last minute. One of our excursions we were allowed to do was to see the giant tortoises (more about them later). A few years ago when our dive shop went, they were not allowed to see the tortoises. This is what I mean by things changing.

Our first excursion was to see the sea lions on land, the marine iguanas, the frigates and the Blue Footed Boobies. The landscape was very desolate with bare, skeleton trees since the area does not get a lot of rain. When it is stated that the animals are not afraid of humans, it couldn’t be more true. We had to step over sea lions that were lying across our path, birds nested right next to the trail and mothers were not overly protective of their eggs. It was birthing season (is that right?) for the Blue Footed Boobies so we saw tons of babies everywhere. We saw babies that ranged in age from only a few hours old to several months. The babies that were several months were incredibly fuzzy and white and looked a little pathetic as they flopped their wings around as if they were alien appendages they didn’t know what to do with. What I want to know is why the Blue Footed Boobies have blue feet. Does it have something to do with attracting a mate? Is this natures version of Elvis’ blue suede shoes? I have to say, they were pretty cool. I kept telling Troy “Get a picture of their feet, get a picture of their feet!”

I loved going on the islands because they were all different from each other both in animals and in landscape and we never knew what to expect. Where one island had mainly marine iguanas (black, small, flat tail) another island had land iguanas that were much bigger with colors that varied from brown to yellow to orange. They were also fat which made me want to grab one and squeeze it. I don’t think our naturalist would have liked that! “Senorita, put the iguana down now!” The islands landscapes varied from looking as if we’re on the moon (did the moon have a boardwalk on it?), to islands with giant cactus with Mickey Mouse ear leaves and ground covering bushes with greens, reds and oranges. I did get tired of the smell quickly though. Between bird guano and seal poop it was enough to make us be glad we were back on the boat. One island did have a small colony of penguins. When I say small, I mean like 40. How lonely is that? We had an opportunity to go snorkeling with them but Troy and I did not want to get geared up in our drysuits just to go snorkeling so we tagged along with the other swimmers on the panga with beer in hand.

After our diving and before we headed back to Quito was our last opportunity to do a land excursion and this was to see the famous giant tortoises. We could have visited the Charles Darwin Research Center but our trip leader (who has been to Galapagos before) said that going to a tortoise farm would be better. He was right. When I say farm, it’s not a farm where they are raised in captivity. These tortoises are wild and just happen to be on some man’s farm. They don’t move fast or very far so they have been here forever. We saw dozens of them with many being over 100 years old and the huge ones weighing in at 500 lbs. They definitely didn’t like people too much. As soon as we got near them, they pulled in their giant heads as much as they could and made this evil hissing sound that made us think twice about getting too close. Even though we would be able to outrun them (I would pay to see them run), they could, without a doubt, tear a limb from us with one tug. Like their name says, they are giants and utterly fascinating to look at up close. From the patterns on their shells, to the scales on their legs, to the drool coming out of their mouth, they were absolutely gorgeous in their own way. I suppose Troy could be gorgeous in his own way if he had drool coming out of his mouth!!!

Onto the diving! This is what we came for and paid a lot of money to do. Not to mention making fellow divers envious. I already told you about our first dive with the sea lions. It only got better from there. The most famous places in Galapagos to dive is Wolf and Darwin Islands. Only four dive boats are allowed there and we figured roughly 3000 divers a year go to these two islands. It’s about a 12 hour ride out from San Christobal and no one is allowed on the islands so the only people that go here are divers. There are no day boats with tourists with floppy hats, sunscreen, guide books and loud voices asking where the bathroom is. It was only us and the other Aggressor dive boat. Our first dive on Wolf Island lived up to the Galapagos reputation: dozens and dozens of Hammerhead sharks, Galapagos sharks (which are huge), Spotted Eagle Rays and an annoying number of eels. Everywhere Troy and I have dived, eels are always hidden away in their holes in the reef. The only thing you see is their head or their tail. Only rarely will we see them out free swimming. Not at Wolf and Darwin Island. They were out swimming everywhere and they were fat! “Senorita, put the eel down now!” There was so much else going on that they actually got to be a little annoying as they swam around us as we’re trying to watch the Hammers.

There was one point on a dive we thought a huge storm cloud came in and blocked out the sun because it got very dark all of a sudden. Troy and I looked up and a massive school of Jacks was swimming by. They were so thick they blocked out the light of the sun. We’ve seen big schools of fish but nothing like this. The best part was when we swam away from the reef into the blue. At the end of every dive when we did this, almost the same thing happened every time: We would be about 30’ deep when coming toward us out of nowhere is 75 -100 silky sharks. They’re not scared of us so they start circling around us coming closer and closer with each pass. They’re not aggressive so we were never in any danger but it was a little unsettling knowing we’re in the middle of nowhere, hours from civilization and there are about 100 sharks circling us! It was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! We didn’t want the dive to end. And then on top of that (as if that was not enough) here comes a huge school of Yellow Fin Tuna. These guys were monsters. Seeing them actually made me sad because I love sushi and I don’t think I want to eat it anymore! Oh wait and then there are the dolphins. Troy and I have always seen dolphins on the surface as we’re going to the dive site, but as soon as we get in the water, they’re gone. Not here! They were everywhere. We could hear them chatter, we would stare at them as they zoom by, watch them leap out of the water, we could even hear them fight as they would tail slap each other. Now that is a weird sound.

But unfortunately there were times where we were at the wrong place at the wrong time. The other dive group saw a Whale Shark three times. A Whale Shark is the mother lode of diving. People dive their whole lives without seeing one. Our dive group saw one but only for a short time until one of the other annoying divers got too close and scared it off. Ass. We were also at the last dive site at the end of the trip when the other dive guide saw a school of about 50 rays swim by. We were at the wrong place by 80’ and the wrong time by mere minutes. But that is the nature of diving.

Before we left Quito, we had one last little bit of excitement (if that is what you want to call it). As most of you know, Troy and I collect masks from all over the world. In Otovallo we got an awesome one that had six bullhorns on it. When we left Quito for Galapagos I didn’t think about leaving it behind at the hotel we would be staying at upon our return. So as soon as we arrive in Galapagos and start going through customs I think to myself “There is no way they are going to let this mask in since it has animal parts on it.” They didn’t even give it a second glance since it was wrapped in paper. I thought I was home free after that. Not so. We get to the Quito airport to fly to Miami and that is where I ran into problems. As it comes out of the x-ray machine, a security agent pulls it aside and shakes her head. She then escorts it and us to our departing gate where there is a more thorough security screening. I ask Troy if the problem is because it’s made of animal and he says no, they think it could be a dangerous weapon. "Headline: LAN Ecuador Flight Hijacked By Man With Bullhorns." Anyways, she has a discussion with the gate security agent, both of them looking at the horns and shaking their heads. I’m getting mad because this mask wasn’t cheap and I wanted it. Troy on the other hand is keeping his cool and a constant smile on his face (if there is one thing he has learned in all his travels is that getting angry does nothing). I’m thinking they’re going to confiscate it. Instead the security agent tells us to follow him. We follow him through a secure door, down stairs and outside to where the baggage is getting loaded on to the carts that go to the airplanes. Troy and I are a little shocked because this would never be allowed in the states. So we walk over to where the heavy hitters of airport security are with their camouflage (camouflage at an airport?), big guns and heavy, black boots. They’re looking at the mask and laughing at it. At this point I’m relieved because even if we can’t carry it on, our checked bags are nearby and we can pack it in them. Next thing I know one of the security police takes out his Swiss Army knife, cuts away the paper and starts digging into the glue that is holding the horns onto the wooden mask. All of a sudden things are not funny anymore as I realize he is checking for drugs. Troy and I are both thinking “If they have any doubt at all, we’re screwed! We are totally f**ked!” I’m holding my coffee cup with a shaking hand and Troy is wiping the sweat off of his brow during all of this. The police tastes what he has scraped off and nods his head. Ok? What does that mean? Ok, there are drugs, arrest them. Ok, it is nothing. What??????????? He hands the mask back to the first security agent and tells us ok. OK, what????? I’m still not getting an answer to this very important questions. He then says, it’s ok, you can go. Whew! Talk about excitement that really wasn’t so funny!

Well folks, this is it. This is the final blog from our round the world trip. We know we were making a lot of people jealous and pissing them off with our travels so we decided to come home! We appreciate the faithful followers and readers who stayed with us, and for those of you who for some reason are reading this but didn't read the rest of our blog postings ... well you missed out on some great stories!

As for what's next, we have decided to put our roots down in Denver, Colorado. Troy got a job at Qwest (which is a huge communications company in Colorado) and will start in another week. He actually got offered the job while we were still in Vanuatu so that was one huge stress off of us. As for me, I will be working too although that will be hard after not having to for three years. (I know, I know I have had it so rough.) We are a bit stressed out having to get settled back in. We have no cars so we have to shop for one, we have to find a house, we have to get our taxes done, we have to cook for ourselves, we're not diving today and we have found that drinking at 10am is frowned upon.

Along our travels we accumulated a few interesting facts we would like to share with you:

• Number of miles traveled: A crap load
• Bottles of suntan lotion: 8
• Pairs of shoes: 3
• Shitty hotels: Lost count
• Run ins with the law: 3
• Lonely Planet guidebooks: 7
• Pairs of underwear: 8 (thought that might interest you)
• Hitch hiked: 7
• Number of currencies: 15
• Number of countries: 21
• Number of nights slept at airport: 3
• Lost: Camera lens cover, dive knife, dive safety sausage, rain jacket, 2 socks, wedding ring (I lost mine white water rafting in Costa Rica)
  
• Not enough money to pay: 2
• Deepest dive Troy: 205', Shelly 209' (and Troy is pissed I went deeper)
• Number of dives Troy: 323, Shelly 320
• Number of hours diving: 283 or 11.8 days
• Most expensive internet: Vanuatu $15/hr
• Cheapest internet: Cairns, Australia .90/hr

The most amazing things:

• Missed flights: 0
• Visits to doctor or hospital: 0
• Lost luggage: 0
• Bouts of diarrhea: 0 (thought you would like that one too)
  
• Lost or stolen money, wallet or passport: 0

We have met some amazing people on the road, seen beautiful countries and have experienced some extraordinary cultures. All of which will be a few of the many things we will miss. But we will not miss the disgustingly long flights, the August heat of Egypt and bad hotel beds. But our travels are not over, they are just on pause. We just have to save our money again!